12 Cars Of Christmas: Santa’s New Ride

    Santa driving a car

    As society progresses technology progresses with it. With that comes new opportunities and challenges, but the overwhelming majority of societal advances are positive. Over the past fifty years we have seen exceptional innovation in the automotive marketplace, and I think that Santa would take advantage of such innovation. I have to imagine that the jolly saint from up North is getting tired of flying around in that old sleigh with only nine reindeer power and one headlight. It’s time for Santa to upgrade, and I think I know exactly what he would get.

    Saint Nick’s Necessities

    Good ole Kris Kringle is…how do I put this…quite girthy. Thus, he would want a vehicle that could accommodate his figure plus maybe a few elves in the cabin. In addition to his own weight, the vehicle would need to be able to haul a large bag of toys. Sure, the bag uses magic or some sort of quantum tesseract storage device to fit everything in it, but it’s still big enough to need a decent amount of space.

    This pretty much leaves us with either an SUV or a truck. Cabin space and storage space is a necessity, but Santa also needs to be able to move silently as he anti-burgles people’s homes. Thus, his new ride should be all-electric. Not only would this give Nick appropriate stealth capabilities, but the instant torque means he can travel short distances much quicker than a conventional gas-powered engine. 

    Let’s also not forget that Santa lives at the North Pole which is quite susceptible to global warming. I have to imagine Mr. and Mrs. Claus are keeping an eye on climate trends and would want to mitigate their footprint as much as possible. Plus, their friend the Coca-Cola polar bear would appreciate it. 

    Kris Kringle Buys American

    Therefore, the best and most obvious choice for Santa’s new vehicle is the 2022 Ford F-150 Lightning in Rapid Red. The Rivian R1T was a close second but unfortunately, its Canyon Red doesn’t look as good, and the bed is a foot shorter than the Lightning. 

    Ford F150 Lightning in Rapid Red
    Source: Ford

    The Rapid Red not only looks very good, but it also stays on-brand. Santa is the jolly guy in a red suit who drives a red sleigh led by a reindeer with a red nose so his next-gen automobile should also be red. In addition, the F-150 Lightning has an onboard payload scale, so he knows exactly how much that magical bag of toys and goodies weighs. Santa would opt for the extended range battery pack with 300 miles of range and two electric motors which would allow him to move swiftly and silently through unsuspecting neighborhoods. 

    Overall, it seems like a no-brainer that Santa would opt for the American-made, all-electric F-150. If you see a large, jolly-looking man running around in a Rapid Red Lightning, we told you so.

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    Car enthusiast and contributor for SwerveAutos