The Mistletoe Of Cars – 12 Cars Of Christmas

    Mistletoe in Doorway

    The holidays are a time of gathering, gift giving, and sharing meals. But it is also a time of romance and fluttering belly butterflies as young (and old) bachelors and bachelorettes take the risk of asking each other out. The ability to give affection is certainly important, but what most people don’t think about is how their car plays into the equation. A car says a lot about a person, and how that car is maintained and driven says even more.

    Obviously, keeping a vehicle clean is important no matter what you drive, but there are cars that seem to just be more attractive than others, obviously meaning that they will more easily attract a mate. Now, we aren’t just talking about expensive sports cars (although those are nice), because that says more about how much money you have, not what kind of person you are. We want a car that embodies our personality and is attractive to someone we are trying to, well, attract.

    Above all, though, it is crucial that this vehicle, which is our wingman in the search for an appropriate partner, can perform the ultimate mating call: a well-executed handbrake turn.

    Unfortunately, electronic handbrakes are all too common nowadays and the practice of attracting mates through vehicular means has been reduced to how well one can parallel park, but that also means someone who can execute said handbrake turn will have a leg up on the competition.

    Because manual handbrakes are so rare, and because the car must also be good looking, I decided to go all the way back to the 80’s.

    Mazda RX7 Turbo II (1987-1991)

    Mazda RX7 Turbo in black
    Source: RX-7 Club

    Honestly, you could grab just about any sports car from the 80s and it would fit the description of a “sexy car with a manual handbrake”, but there is a very specific reason I chose the RX7, which I will explain later.

    The RX7 was a Porsche for people who didn’t want to spend Porsche money. What that tells a potential mate is “I have good taste, but I am not a snob.” That is attractive. As per the name, Mazda fitted a turbo to the RX7 and that made it a well-performing vehicle. That tells a romantic interest that “I like to live on the edge and test the limits.” That is attractive. And finally, the Mazda RX7 Turbo II has a mechanical handbrake meaning that, with some practice, the driver can master the all-important handbrake turn and say to their prospective love interest, “I am a master of my domain and can harness hell itself.” That is attractive.

    Mazda RX7 Retro
    Source: Garage Dreams

    Now, the reason I picked the RX7 Turbo II over say, the BMW M3, Audi Quattro, Datsun 280 ZX, Porsche 944 Turbo, Toyota Celica Supra, or the Rabbit GTI Mk1, is for one simple reason: rotary engine. Mazda’s rotary engine, while insanely cool, had some major drawbacks such as oil consumption and high fuel emissions. While mistletoe is a symbol of love and romance, when eaten it is highly poisonous, just like the prospect of owning an ill-maintained rotary engine. 

    Still, I’d have one.

    Previous articleJeep Grand Cherokee L Gets Tech Upgrades For 2022
    Next article2022 Jeep Wrangler And Gladiator To Get 100:1 Crawl Ratio
    Car enthusiast and contributor for SwerveAutos